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Is it so difficult to understand? Friday, October 15, 2010

Will you even ask a vendor outside to help you stir your noodles? If I was a vendor, I wouldn't as it is too demanding. It is already every good that I help you put inside a plate just for your vegetables. You are overboard, you are too much this time round. And... I hate it. Fortunately, exam's is over and I can don't concentrate on my studies. Bad things always happen when I want something. I didn't eat much during lunch that is because I lose my appetite thanks to you. On the other hand, I am quite full.

Is it asking for something I want so difficult? Can't you understand? Seriously, I am damn bloody sick and tired of all this crap!!! I even need to think through a series of thins or attitude you are going to give me, whether it is reprimanding or praises, I need to think through before the things come out from my mouth. Ya, your won't quarrel in front of me but your will, when I am not around. That's when I hate it. Why human beings just don't want to speak each other hearts out to one another? Finally, I realized, it is difficult to tell as not all people feel or think the way you do. I am sickening sick and tired!!!

I have to zip my mouth more and more often as i get older and older. I cannot speak my heart out in front of you. I wish I could, I could but that will lead to further arguments in the family, which I don't want at all! When I was young I could say anything out, regardless of what things. But now, things change, attitudes also change. But what causes this change, no ones know the answer.

On the surface, friends would think that I am having a good time at home because that is what I show in school. I talk, I joke but I am not sure how long can my laughter lasts. Sometimes it is great fun, sometimes it is just acting. Whenever your quarrel, I dread coming home. I want to run away from reality but I can't. Sometimes I would waste my time in school. Sometimes I would walk slowly...

I am scared of requesting anything. That's because whenever I request, all of this will lead to expected quarrels. Once bitten twice shy. I have been "bitten" thrice. I don't want it to happen again. I tried very hard to keep my anger within me, but I believe there is time that I would collapsed regardless of what. I hope this day would never appear. All of this I have to be kept in heart.

I am sick and tired. I cried to vent my anger at night but it does not take any effect now. I have to bottled up everything and keep studying even though it is end of exam to make me forget about all this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Why must you always be nice and bad on different days, why can't you be nice all the while?

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10/15/2010 04:59:00 AM
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I say "Laugh Out Loud... LOL"

My name is Tam Li Na.
My day is on the last day of January.
I love basketball and badminton.
I like sour and spicy stuffs.
I love going to countryside :D
I like silence and peace, hates empty/broken promises and disputes.
P.S if i wrote something unpleasant, they are all my words of anger.




Wishlist
Marker & Pen
Earpiece (Ipod&Handphone)
Sling Bag
Pencil Case
School Bag
Small Bag
No more quarrels
Teeth Braces
Bicycle
Books
Ipod Touch Casing
Watch
Slippers
Canvas
Shorts
Storybooks eps. non fiction
Get good results and get into a good school
Handphone
Be myself


Music

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